Pontifications of Cynicality

Yeah a new post

2008-01-20T01:10:00.000-08:00

I haven't posted in a year. I know. This blog thing is a bit strange like that. I have been having some more time lately and I am getting back into the writing mood so I'm going to try this again. To any of you who wonder where I've been, well I've moved back to Montana. I have my two year degree and am looking to finish my four year degree this fall. Montana State, where I will be accomplishing that, has been horrible about helping me along. I know the ultimate responsibility of this rests on my shoulders, but as someone who has been out of the school loop for a while the task is daunting. They wanted records of my last immunization, which frankly was more than fifteen years ago and I have no idea where the records are if they even still exist. I also had to speak with my "adviser" even though I had not been assigned one, nor was I told how to get one. Classes filled the day they were open to registration and when I tried to jump into classes anyway, with the hopes of getting added by a benevolent professor or two, there was no parking within miles of campus.

Other than trying to make my stand at the local institution of "higher learning" I am working at Radio Shack once again. It is my fall back job. I can always get employment there just on the basis of my experience alone. I am now rooming with three other guys in a house and I am sure that will provide plenty of blog fodder. Now that I have caught you all up I can get to some kind of post that people might read all the way through. If you've gotten this far on this post you get a PoC gold star.

Alright Already

2006-10-25T12:34:00.000-07:00

So it's been awhile. Sue me. My life has been pretty full lately. I have been served the papers of my divorce, finally. There is a good chance things on that front will be done this year. School has been hectic. I've been trying to decide whether or not to attend graduation, but since the deadline was today, I guess I'm not going. I have been hitting the meat of my classes so things there have been steadily eating my time. In the next few weeks I have two presentations, three major papers, and a few tests, needless to say, I'm busy there as well. It seems, however, that both of my readers want some new stuff. Well never let it be said that I don't aim to please.

My mother has been reading one of those self help books for women that claims to reveal the secret of how men think. As far as I can tell it's not too far off. The problem with that whole thing is that a woman could never completely get it, nor could a man communicate it effectively to a woman.

The woman who writes the book says that women make their men feel inadequate. I can agree with that. I know a woman who complains that her husband never completes a project around the house. I asked her when the last time she thanked him for doing a project. She replied that she always thanks him for doing the project. The problem, as I see it, is that nobody ever hears her talk about how she likes what he does. Everybody hears her complain, over and over again ad infinitum, about how he never finishes. He doesn't quite get all of the baseboard done, or he didn't get the cover put back on the lamp, or he left the knob only partially attached.

While this may indeed be frustrating, perhaps he is frustrated with how she tells everybody how inadequate she finds his home repair to be. She doesn't see it like that, but my men-sense tingles with it. She is constantly bringing this man down in his own eyes and the eyes of his peers. It is quite possible that this guy would die of shock if he ever did something and she didn't find something to fault in it.

It is not that this woman is ungrateful, yet that is how it seems to us men. It is that she can't shut up about the one thing that bothers her. It is the equivalent of a man going through 40 years of life and never telling his wife that he loves her. The one things she wants from him and she doesn't ever get it.

The one thing that this man wants, I would bet, is to have his wife not complain about something he did. For her, just once, to talk about how great what he did was without talking about what he didn't do right. I hear this all the time. How many times have you heard someone say 'It's great, but...'. That is the problem. For someone you love there should be no 'buts'.

Well that's it. I hope you liked it. I will attempt to write more as time goes on, but do not expect me to fill with memes and lists and crap like that. I try hard not to do them. I really love all you readers, but...

{Your Title Goes Here}

2006-10-08T08:45:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted here for a while. It has been a combination of many different things. I really haven't had many interesting things happen in my life. I have also been spending a ton of time in the World of Darkness.

I have recently received some court paperwork for my divorce, which nobody cares about but me. I have started writing again. I have been working on a 'novel' for something like ten years. I don't know if I will ever finish it and I'm sure it won't be publishable.

School has been hitting harder as midterms loom on the horizon. My Comparative Religion class is becoming more and more of a joke, which is sad. I had such high hopes for that class. French is getting harder and harder, which I expected. My Introduction to Teaching class is rather dull. The one gem I have this semester is my Middle East History class. It may have a little to do with the fact that I am a history major, but this class is never boring.

I think that is about enough of my insanely dull life, for the moment. Hope my readers, both of you (hi mom!), have a great week.

Being Smacked Didn't Hurt At All

2006-09-28T08:35:00.000-07:00

...well not much anyway.

Forgive me Miss Chatty for I have sinned,

I have blatantly disregarded the command of Sassy Sadie and did use orange in my template. I have committed the atrocity of moderating said comments and I do humbly ask absolution. I did ignore the law unto which we are bound by Bitter Bitch to refrain from poetry. I have disobeyed Princess Pottymouth and perpetrated eye-jarring colors upon my avatar. For these aggrieves sins I do so ask forgiveness, however undeserved it is.

In the name of Charred, Charles, and The Merciless Minx,
kthnxbai

P.S. Comments have been unmoderated. If you want to read the review go here.

The Group Thing is Just Not My Cup of Tea

2006-09-26T17:22:00.000-07:00

Group school work that is. It seems to be the latest fad in teaching or maybe it's just that I haven't been in school for a long time. I absolutely hate doing group projects and my teachers just absolutely love to assign them. I have no idea why. Maybe they just like to piss people off.

I've gotten them in almost every class in two years of college. It's not that I don't like working with others, well, maybe it is, but it goes beyond that. I don't have the time to go searching for when these people have days off. I don't want to deal with their lack of motivation for decent grades. I don't want them over at my place and I don't want to go to theirs.

I work and I go to school full time. I barely have time to sleep much less find the infinitesimally small window of time that the three of us have free together. This is ridiculous. This is college. My work should be my work alone and I don't want to be responsible for any one else's grade, much less have them responsible for mine.

Give it up teachers. Everyone hates group projects, except the people who don't do any work and then get the grade because their group pulls their weight. If you want to do a group thing find an orgy, don't bastardize my education.

It's Official: My Job Sucks

2006-09-25T19:10:00.000-07:00

We had suspicions before, but now there is no doubt. To give you a little information needed for this story I have to tell something about myself. I sleep walk. I also talk in my sleep. I do lots of things in my sleep, but apparently nothing very useful. I would love to wake up in the morning with all my laundry done. Alas that never happens. I do, however, tend to reset my alarm or plain turn it off in my sleep.

That is exactly what I did on Saturday. I eventually woke up about 15 minutes before I had to be at work. This is not usually a very big deal. I rushed to get my morning ablutions done and hurried into work. I was expecting my coworker to be there already. Oops, my bad.

The guy that was supposed to be in at 9 A.M. as well hadn't made it in yet. I was 20 minutes late and now I knew we were both in deep. I opened up the store and got reamed by my boss on an open radio channel.

That is why I hate my job. Instead of calling me like he should have done, my boss radioed to my store on a channel that, not only is broadcast in my store, but also in two other stores. It was a public dressing down and I am adamantly against those.

What happened to my coworker? Nothing. He walked in about three minutes after I got there. His excuse? He got lost on his way to work. Yeah. Lost. He's been working here for over a month. That isn't even the kicker. He walks to work. But wait, there's more. I could throw a rock from the store and hit his house. He. Got. Lost. Either he is the dumbest person on the face of the Earth, or he is so bad at lying a four year old could call him out. I'm thinking a bit of both.

Walking into the Past

2006-09-22T12:35:00.000-07:00

The past is a scary place, especially when it changes. This semester I am taking an Intro to Teaching class and I have to complete 15 hours of classroom observations. Today I had scheduled some time at the local elementary school. This school was built in my town after they demolished the one hundred year old school that I had gone to grade school in. This place is huge. I was intimidated right from my entry into the parking lot. I was going to spend three hours there this afternoon, but I got creeped out and was sort of lost so I rescheduled more time next week.

I was disappointed in my welcome. The principal was friendly and kind and the teacher was very nice, however, I was not given any kind of idea what I should do or were I should go. I was escorted up to a class and introduced to the teacher. I was then left alone after being told that the rest of the teachers would be notified of my visit and that I could 'wander' around to whatever classrooms I would like.

I felt like an intruder. The class I was in was nice although I don't remember classroom being that cluttered in my own days of school. The teacher made it pretty plain that once they finished the math section that I was being dismissed to another class. It was all so unstructured. There was a phone in the class and it rang twice interrupting the class for the teacher to conduct personal business. I thought that was unbelievable. I am in some kind of culture shock and I definitely don't want to go back. This place creeped me out. I don't know how teachers do it.

I really wish I would have been given better instructions than 'wander around and see what you can see'. Wouldn't a teacher like to know more than, perhaps some college student will wander into your class in the middle of your lecture and he might disrupt everything, or he might not. I don't think I will be going back to this school after I complete the five hours I need for this assignment.

God save all the teachers because I sure don't want to teach elementary school. Good on you if you do. You deserve a raise, a medal, and a lifetime supply of drugs courtesy of the government.

Explanations

2006-09-19T16:13:00.000-07:00

I guess I am fully baptized in blogging now. I got my first comment spam. I moderate comments here to stop this stuff. I never delete or moderate comments that aren't spam. I don't moderate so that I can change any person's comment, mostly because I don't really care if you have a different opinion than I do. I like hearing from my readers and if you think I'm stupid go ahead and say so, God knows I say it myself enough. So feel free to comment away.

In other news I would like to thank my blog pimp Dog for making my week renting his blog a fantastic experience. I received a ton of traffic from his site and he is my current hero.

I really don't have much to post today. I try not to post if I don't have anything to say. It makes for a really boring read. At least I have always thought so. Go read IT2M if you want a dose of drama. They serve it up fresh daily.

P.S. I know you will have an uncontrollable urge to say something nasty about me now KG. Go ahead get it out of your system.

Just Call Me Bella

2006-09-15T18:34:00.000-07:00

Since I really don't have much to post today I'll let you in on a secret.

First, though, I want to say hey to my visitors from NYC Watchdog. He pimps harder than any other I've seen for his renters and it is much appreciated.

Ok. On to the secret. ~~The Antichrist~~ My ex used to have an online magazine called Simming Monthly. She was HUGE into The Sims 2. She had an article in there titled Ask Bella. It was sort of a twisted kind of Dear Abby for your sims. People would write in asking questions for their sims and Bella would answer. She usually wasn't very nice.

Well. I was Bella. At least I was until my wife left. I think I did through November or December. It was fun, I have to admit. I could be nasty and mean and I was just writing to fictional characters in a game. Maybe I'll start a blog answering questions like Bella.

Maybe not. It's too much work and I'm sure someone else is already doing it. Anyway, now you know. I masqueraded as a fictional female character answering letters from fictional characters for an online magazine about a game.

Wow doesn't sound very impressive when I put it that way. If that's my fifteen minutes of fame I want my money back.

Parlez-Vous Stupid

2006-09-14T08:57:00.000-07:00

So yeah I did technically sign up for it. That doesn't mean it's not dumb. My French class starts at 8 AM! Who decided that learning a foreign language and sleep deprived foggy coffee slugging mornings go well together? Before you ask, no, there were no other times. There is only one French 101 class available for the entire college. Out of more than 13,000 students only 25 want to take French? If we are so elite why don't you give us a break and not make us get up at ungodly hours for class. Why do I constantly chose the classes like this. If my luck gets any worse I won't be able to leave my house.

Crack, Now in New Convenient Digital Form

2006-09-11T16:51:00.000-07:00

I have always liked RPGs (Role Playing Games). They have always sucked me in from the earliest Final Fantasy games on the Nintendo to table top games like Dungeons & Dragons and the White Wolf games. A few years ago I was introduced to online RPG chat in the White Wolf Vampire the Masquerade venue. I was instantly hooked. I have found, however, that when you get into a bad chat things turn instantly to horrible. When people do not know how to role play or take things too seriously or personally things can go from great to I quit in seconds.

I stopped doing the Vampire chat after the original game started breaking apart. I tried several other venues but nothing really grabbed me. Since my wife left I've been stuck with a huge amount of free time that used to be spent with her. A good friend of mine suggested I try the chat he plays on. I was reluctant at first but then decided that I had nothing better to do so I told him that I would try it out. I poured over the books and tried to learn as much about the system that I could. He plays Mage the Awakening which is a new version of the system I used in Vampire.

I finally decided this last weekend to hang it all and just jump in. In the last three days I've spent an inordinate amount of time in this alternate world. I have found the players to be very good at role play, which is the main reason I play at all. I am thoroughly addicted. I am planning to hop back in just as soon as I finish posting this.

If you want to check out what I'm talking about you can go here and if you would like to see my own character you can check him out here. If you happen to get sucked in like I did, or maybe you already play please say hi to Blazar if you see him around Boston.

I have to go stamp out the bad guys and celebrate with some imagined scotch. I'm getting the shakes from being away too long. Jason, you should be arrested for peddling this stuff.

P.S. If you are looking for a good 9/11 tribute you can go here.

Fortune Cookies Hate Me

2006-09-09T10:53:00.000-07:00

As long as I can remember I have gotten bad fortunes inside fortune cookies. I am not talking about obscure fortunes like 'something good is coming your way'. I am not talking about negative fortunes like 'hide now or you will die'. I am talking about fortunes that don't qualify as fortunes and barely qualify as sentences. I know these cookies are probably made in Peru or something and that fortunes cookies are an American invention, but there must be some kind of mistranslation going on.

I received a fortune after my wonderful mushroom beef lunch (no I'm not posting a picture, it was delicious but those pictures always look like dog crap on a plate). This wonderful fortune says:

"Simplicity of character is the natural result of profound thought."

WHAT? Did Confucius smoke a joint on his lunch break? What part of this is a fortune? It's not even a good wisdom saying.

I will be posting others as I get them. This kind of fortune is all I ever get. My favorite of all time was:

"It is a nice day outside"

Yeah I actually ate a cookie that tasted like cardboard soaked in plaster for that.

Goodbye Nanny

2006-09-08T12:11:00.000-07:00

Late Wednesday night/early Thursday morning my grandmother passed away. She was 95. It is hard to tell what this means to me. Her death was not unexpected as she was given a short time to live by the doctors nearly seven years ago. All she wanted was to die at home and in that she got her wish. She died peacefully in her sleep and I suppose that is the best we can hope for.

We called my grandmother Nanny. I think this comes from a mispronunciation of Nana by one of the older grandchildren, perhaps my sister. She was married to my grandfather, who passed in 1992, for more than fifty years. Nanny fiercely loved and protected her family and I don't know that I would be able to name a better person to have on my side. She would have wrestled a hundred bears to protect any one of us. She always endeavored to make sure that all of her extended family had what they needed, and it was always the little things that meant the most. She saved those little green stamps to get sets of flatware for both my brother and me. I was quite young when she did this, but I wouldn't use any other flatware on my table. Her last words were to one of her great great grandchildren; "I love you". That was so fitting for Nanny. She absolutely adored children and I'm sure she would not have had her last words be anything else.

Nanny has quite a family left behind on the earth as a legacy. She left three children, nine grandchildren, nine great grandchildren, and three great great grandchildren. I can think of no better tribute to her than the fact that she has protected and loved the lot of us no matter what we did.

Here's to you Nanny. I hope PopPop is there to great you on the other side. We love you and miss you.

P.S. You can see her obituary here if you would like.

Neptune is in my WHAT?

2006-09-06T17:52:00.000-07:00

First of all I'd like to thank all of the commenters. It's nice to know that there's other ~~suffering bastards~~ nice people out there. Your kind words are much appreciated.

Now on to the main reason for my post today. Astrology. I've never been a fan of or an adherent to horoscopes or any of that sort of thing. I am now rethinking my position. My good friend Jason and I were talking about it the other night and he had some very interesting insights I'd like to share with you. Yes, both of you, now listen up. He, like me, doesn't believe the horoscopes, but he did have something interesting to say about the personality types. I made a comment about how the majority of what the astrologers write about Pisces fits me perfectly. I find this to be eerily disturbing for a skeptic such as myself. He gave me a new perspective on astrology.

He said that he believes that there are certain cycles in our personalities. The cycles are not determined by what constellation that the sun was in on your birthday, but they can be categorized that way. Obviously this won't fit everybody, or maybe it does, I don't know. So for instance, the fact that the sun happens to be in Pisces on my birthdate does not make me a moody introvert. It may however be that during that particular time many people are born with this type of personality.

Let me put it this way. Putting a little blue stick person figure on a door doesn't make that room automatically turn into a restroom. It does however, conveniently mark a restroom for us. It makes it easy for people to identify a restroom.

That is what the zodiacal constellations are. Identifiers of personalities. They don't cause the personalities or determine whether or not you should ~~pay your stupid tax~~ purchase that lotto ticket.

I found this explanation to be not only profound but also very sensical. I hope you do to. Hey I have to go according to Yahoo's psychics I have to contemplate my future for the rest of the day. Oh, and if any Geminis or Scorpios need a Pisces who is lost in their own little fantasy world be sure to let me know.

It Made My Night

2006-09-05T21:05:00.000-07:00

Well, it made it terrible. I got a call from my soon-to-be exwife. Yes, I know my profile says I'm divorced. It's in the works, cut me some slack. She wanted to know why I haven't returned the divorce settlement she sent me. The quick answer is that I've been a wreck lately. I've been trying to find a lawyer to look it over and I need to find one cheap (read: free). I have been meaning to contact the Prairie State Legal Aid Society that supposedly offers discounted legal services to people in need (read: poor).

We inevitably started talking about other things and that always depresses me. Every time we talk I get reminded that she ground my heart into dust and she couldn't be happier. I am left feeling desolated and devastated but she is having the time of her life with a new boyfriend. She admits to feeling great since she left me which leaves me feeling awesome about life. I know I should feel like I am better off without her and that she was dumb for leaving me. I have heard it a million times from my friends. They are trying to make me feel better and I truly appreciate their efforts. It's impossible for me to turn my feelings off. Despite everything she did to me (cheating, lying, hurtful words, etc.) I still love her. I have already said I am stupid so leave me alone.

I just want this to be over. I want to be able to remember this and kind of chuckle about how much it sucked and how things are so much better now. I really want not to love this woman anymore. I wish I could get over it. I wish I could just make it stop.

I can't. I just have to drag through it. I hate my life right now.

Sprint is Owned by Satan

2006-09-04T20:43:00.000-07:00

Tonight I received a call from Sprint. They wanted to let me know that my cell phone bill is past due. Setting aside the fact that I already know this, the call pissed me off. First of all, it's a holiday. Nobody should be called by a bill collector or telemarketer on a holiday. Doesn't Sprint give their poor phone center workers the day off? Apparently, because they seem to be hell-spawn, they don't. Secondly, they called at 9PM. I have never minded getting calls from friends or relatives at any time of the day or night. I expect that they know when the need to call me is outweighed by the time of day or night. If they need to talk I'm game for a call as long as I am awake. If it's something serious go ahead and wake me up, I don't mind. Sprint should never call me after 7PM or so. This is my time to relax and finish up my day. I don't want to go to bed flaming mad about a courtesy call. I can only conclude that the management and board of directors at Sprint consist of Lucifer and all his top demons. Thanks Sprint for pissing me off this evening.

I'm Tired aka Stupid

2006-09-03T14:47:00.000-07:00

Why am I tired? It could be that I stayed up until 8AM. Of course that is not really staying up late that's just not going to bed. I know I shouldn't do this. I need to get more sleep. Ever since the summer class sessions were over I've been having problems getting to bed at any kind of decent hour. I end up getting less than six hours of sleep and I definitely regret it after dragging myself through several hours of the day. I would never treat my car this way. I would be appalled at anyone who just gave their car enough gas to get to their destination, but not a drop more. This would not only be bad for the car, but also be colossally stupid, so why would I treat my body this way?

I guess that means I'm stupid but we have already established that fact. I can always go out and get a new car but bodies are in rather short supply. I am normally a night owl and whenever I get the chance my body tends to slip back into a nocturnal schedule. It's horrible. I am pumping myself full of caffeine, which I don't think is very effective, and I am still falling asleep at the keyboard/desk/wheel/cash register. I have to go take a nap.

The Female Question

2006-08-31T17:14:00.000-07:00

It's not exactly a question as it is a category of questions. My wife used to ask them all the time. It usually was something like 'Why do some car companies put the gas cap on the right and some on the left?'. I have now have two options. I can either lie or tell her that I don't know. Option 1 is the easiest. Option 2 leads to headaches and sometimes arguments. So I would probably answer something like 'Well when they design the cars they figure out the optimum space management system then decide where the gas tank goes. Then they decide which side would be more space efficient and aerodynamic to place the cap on.' It sounds good. It may even be close to the truth. I have no idea I just made that up just now as I wrote it. The conversation then moves on as her curiosity was satiated. If I said something like 'I don't know' the conversation grinds to a halt as she would then tell me what she thought the answer was, which would be some completely farfetched illogical reason like 'I bet they do that to balance out the fact that they put (some car part) on the other side and they wanted to make it look nicer.' or 'It's probably some government regulation that says what side they put it on.' Then she would tell me how she thought I was smart enough to know and that she would never ask me anything else ever again. If I know how to change the oil and do a minor tune-up I obviously know everything there is to know about cars, right? The same kind of thing would happen if, God forbid, anything would go wrong with the computer or if she had a question about some weird computer quirk. 'Why is the icon for Internet Explorer a big blue e?', 'Why do I have to restart every time I update, can't they figure out how to do it without restarting?', 'Why are computers black or silver?'. Please do the men in your life a favor. They don't know. They will just make something up to seem smarter or to avoid more questions. There is no real reason and it's ok. There doesn't need to be a reason for everything. If you promise to stop asking us silly questions we'll promise to buy feminine products without complaining. Honestly. I swear. Why do they call those things tampons anyway?

Why I Miss Montana

2006-08-28T22:54:00.000-07:00

These are some pictures of sunsets I took in Montana. The first one was taken outside of the Bozeman Daily Chronicle I believe. I am not sure when I took it but it doesn't matter as it is just gorgeous. I don't usually take such good pictures but these just turned out great.

The last two are taken just outside of the front door of my workplace in Bozeman Montana in the late winter of 2004, March or April I think. The mountains are in the Bridger Range and are stunningly beautiful. I saw views like this every day for nearly 3 years. I was so stupid to move back to Illinois. I thought I'd share them as the remaining hot days of summer go by. That and one of my blogging friends put purdy pictures on her blog and I was jealous. I hope you enjoy them.

Why, KG, Why?

2006-08-28T10:49:00.000-07:00

Apparently Kentucky Girl has tagged me for a meme. You do know these are authored by Satan don't you? You are going to hell for propagating this stuff. Now I feel obligated to do it, but since I've never done one before I guess one won't hurt me. Well, not too much anyway.

Things that scare me: Heights, failing classes, and KG's anger (trust me you don't ever want to piss her off. I heard she uses the skulls of her victims as ash trays.)
People who make me laugh: Unqualified teachers, Guild Wreckers, internet dramatists.
Things I hate the most: Going back to school as an "adult student", Illinois.
Things I don't understand: Why vulgarity = humor, why retail stores inevitably hire the most ignorant employees they can possibly find.
Things I am doing right now: Waiting to go to work. Putting up a garbage post of a meme cause KG made me.
Things I want to do before I die: Live 80 more years.
Things I can't do: Point with my left index finger, be nice to telemarketers, code anything on the internet.
Things I think you should listen to: Podcasts. Specifically TWiT, dl.tv, Buzz Out Loud, Diggnation, Control Alt Chicken, Ask A Ninja.
Things you should never listen to: People who tag you with memes.
Things I'd like to learn: How to become invisible, how to write and, the secret to happiness.
Favorite Foods: Dolphin, hummingbird, and unicorn.
Beverages I drink regularly: Water and Mountain Dew.
TV Shows I watched as a kid: Underdog, Star Trek TNG, GoBots

Face Spackle

2006-08-26T09:48:00.000-07:00

Kentucky Girl has accused me of being weird. I think I may just prove it here. I like the way women look when they wear very little or no makeup. I always thought that my exwife looked her cutest in the morning when she was bleary-eyed and fuzzy from sleep. Notice that is cutest not sexiest. I hate it when women goop their faces up with enough makeup that it is clearly visible from yards away. I think that the less makeup you can get away with the prettier you are. In a minimalist kind of way. I despise lipstick. I don't want my woman to look like she was just drinking blood or have neon pink lips. It just looks strange to me. I also hate having any of that crap on my lips after kissing. I don't use chapstick because it grosses me out. I can't stand having that greasy stuff on me. I don't want colored greasy crap on me either. Another makeup thing I really dislike is painted nails (fingers and especially toes). It really bothers me and I don't know why. My ex would paint with clear polish and that didn't bother me so it must be something about the color. The rest of the makeup spectrum really doesn't bother me all that much as long as it looks natural. So KG does this make me weird?

ACK!

2006-08-24T19:04:00.000-07:00

Am I the only person in the entire world who hates it when one type of food on my plate touches another type of food on the same plate? This is a tad, ok a lot, OCD . I admit it freely and openly. I absolutely can't stand it when my food touches. I think it mixes the flavors and I don't want my potatoes to taste like green beans or my turkey to taste like cranberries. It makes me ill to watch my father eat because he takes a little bit of everything in one bite. He will, for example, take a small bit of mashed potatoes then skewer a green bean or two all before spearing a piece of roast. He then somehow manages to put this on top of his tastebuds without gagging. His defense is always the same: "It all goes to the same place anyway". Is it just me or do you not have to taste your food after it combines in your stomach? I am such a food freak that I eat in mini courses. I eat one type of vegetable, then another, and finally my main course. I do not start on anything until I am finished with the entire serving of whatever I was eating previously. I will, oftentimes, have my side dishes served in separate bowls if they are particularly messy or saucey. There was no real point to this post. I'm just sharing. Perhaps I am hoping that someone else shares my strange food compulsion and I won't feel alone anymore. (would it help if I said a tear just rolled down my cheek?)

Edumacation

2006-08-22T20:55:00.000-07:00

This is the start of a brand new semester. It also happens to be my last semester at community college. I really had high hopes for this last hurrah. All of my classes this go around are electives and I picked every single one of them because I wanted to take the class. I am a lousy picker. I am, or was rather, taking two education classes. One of them was The Exceptional Child. In the catalog it was billed as a class about children who deviated from the norm (duh). The description went on to say the class dealt with gifted and special ed children. I don't know yet if I want to teach and I certainly don't want to teach special ed children. I don't have the kind of patience those children need. It takes a very talented person to take on a challenge like that and it just isn't me. I was however looking forward to the gifted children chapters and thought that the class would be an asset for any teacher. They decided this semester to drop all of the material on gifted children in order to focus more on children with disabilities. Great that was the one thing I was truly looking forward to learning. If I teach at all I'd like to teach college and this teacher automatically assumes everyone in the class is going to be teaching elementary students. So what if most of them are I automatically dislike you for assuming what I am going to do. She brought candy to help us "get over the stress of the first day of class". Now I am starting to get pissed. I am not eight years old I don't need a blow-pop to make me feel better. The final straw for me was the following quiz given in class to "raise our awareness" of disabled people.

All of the questions had three answers: Yes, No, and Not Sure. We were to circle the answer "we thought was best".

1. Is a person with a disability usually sick?

2. Can a person who is blind go to the store?

3. If someone can't talk, is he or she retarded?

4. Are people with disabilities born that way?

5. Do you feel sorry for someone who is disabled?

6. Can people who are blind hear the same as other people?

7. If a person is mentally retarded, does it mean that he or she will never grow up?

8. Are all people who are deaf alike?

9. Can a person in a wheelchair be a teacher?

10. Do all people have the right to go to your school?

This was copied verbatim from a handout quiz she gave us to do in the last ten minutes of class. Do we really need to go over this? We did. Are our college kids so dumb and intolerant that they need to be reminded of this stuff? America may or may not be going to Hell in a handbasket but it seems our public schools are going to Idiotsville in a soft warm oblivious blanket.

Blahgging

2006-08-21T11:21:00.000-07:00

I've been visiting several blogs lately and have noticed something about 90% of them. They're blah. It's not that they are horrible, although some of them truly are. Most of them are just ho hum. I don't understand the whole mommyblog thing. The only reason I can imagine for them is that some family members might want to see the pictures and know about adventures in diaper changing. I am quite sure that when I become a father that I will be smitten with my children, but I don't expect everybody else will think they are the next Einstein just because they are able to say 'wawa' when they get thirsty. I also have trouble understanding the day-in-the-life blogs. I don't even begin to pretend my life is interesting to me much less the multitudes of people I con myself into believing read my blog. Photoblog-meh-only if the pictures are coffee table book good and you have something interesting to say about them. Food blogging is just ridiculous. Food never looks good in those digital camera, or God forbid cell phone camera, pictures. It always ends up looking like something the local alley cat puked up. I don't really expect other people to read my blog. I don't expect other people to find it humorous, although I do grin like a giddy schoolboy when someone does. If you like it or find it funny-hey thanks feel free to comment cause I sure don't have much else to grin about lately. If you don't like it I'm not going to impinge your intelligence. (insert-'it's my blog I'll do what I want/you don't have to read it'-cliches here) I suppose this is all to say I've invented a new term. Blahg. Someone else may have come up with it already but I've never seen it so I will blissfully consider myself witty enough to think I made it up.

Video Games

2006-08-20T12:02:00.000-07:00

I have a love/hate relationship with video games. I enjoy playing and they are a great way to relax for me. I enjoy playing them unless I am too busy trying not to break my controller/t.v./entertainment system. I absolutely love a challenging game, but when they get so challenging that I am screaming in frustration I wonder why I still play. Time and again I go back to the polygonal feeding trough to satisfy the need for one more turn or one more level. Last night I got so frustrated I was literally yelling at my television. That brings up the question: What is more ignorant, a game that is too hard to play or the idiot who keeps trying to play it? The only answer I can come up with is...I'll be back later Darth Vader is trying to crush the rebellion and the only way to stop him is with my mad video game skillz.

Edit: Darth has now been vanquished and is no longer threatening the universe. You may all sleep safely now thanks to my dull afternoon and amazing video game blaster maneuvers.

Maybe They Don't Talk Enough

2006-08-19T08:35:00.001-07:00

Perhaps you've heard about a site called I Talk Too Much. I stumbled on their site when I was over at Kentucky Girl's Blog. This site is extremely entertaining. They review blogs, but perhaps not in a way you are used to. The reviewers do not pull any punches. If your blog sucks they will tell you in no uncertain terms. They are the cursing artillery. Not only do they drop the F-bomb, they design new delivery systems for it. If you are offended by swearing then you should steer well clear of this site. I have to say, though, that I have learned some things about blogging from the reviewers. I have taken down my adsense ads and, I am now happier then ever about the design that KG made for me. She did a fantastic job and I love the simplicity of it. After viewing several blogs that looked as if someone puked bad Chinese takeout all over my screen I appreciate the design even more. Thanks KG, you are such a blogging goddess! I have been reading the archives at IT2M and I am amazed at the sites that actually submit themselves to be reviewed then whine about a bad review. You do know what you are getting into when you submit. It's not as if a bad review is going to ruin your life and you may just get some tips to make your blog more palatable for visitors. I have submitted for review and will take my smacks gracefully. I may cry a little but I'll do it in private.

This Post is on Clearance

2006-08-17T16:17:00.000-07:00

You have walked back into the Radio Shack Zone. I had a customer today that asked if every item he could see was on clearance. Radio Shack has big yellow tags with big black bars that contain the word CLEARANCE on all their clearanced items. The rest of the tags are white. If you see a ton of yellow tags it might come into your mind that the tags that aren't marked are most likely not clearance. This guy however, had some sort common sense impairment. I told him that if an item is clearanced then it is clearly marked so. I must look like I'm trying to hide something. I might just have a special codeword that if spoken would give a customer the deal of the century. I am sure this person is a normal, intelligent, functional human being. He just stepped into the Radio Shack Zone.

Divorce

2006-08-15T22:59:00.000-07:00

This is bound to be either a sappy love post or a love rant. Surf away if you need to but don't say you weren't warned.

Now that I'm going through one myself, I have been noticing all the people I know who are divorced. Holy Matrimony Batman, it's a ton of people! I most definitely know more divorced people than married once and forever people. Is the marriage commitment different than what I always believed? When I said all that stuff like until death, sickness, health and all I really meant it. Am I just an oldfashioned weirdo? Is my expectation of a lifelong partner so unrealistic? I refuse to believe that there are absolutely no women out there that would ever be interested in a forever commitment. I find the lack of solid relationships a scary fact. It seems that people just don't care enough about each other to really stick around. I respect couples who cohabitate for 30 years, heck even 10 years, more than I respect someone who marries then bolts, even more so if the bolter is also a cheater. I don't understand this penchant for short term relationships. When you get married you know the drill. You know the vows ahead of time. They don't spring them on you last minute. I knew what I was saying and I meant it. I suppose there will always be the jerks who change their minds about things. All I know is this is one of the most painful human trials and those who inflict this kind of pain on people should have to experience it for themselves at least once just to keep things even.

Nostalgia

2006-08-14T17:40:00.000-07:00

I got an email today from a friend who set up a myspace page. He did a wonderful job and the pictures he has on it made me homesick for Montana. I suppose a little bit of background is in order. I grew up near Chicago and spent 24 years there. When I got married we moved to Montana and I spent the best four years of my life there. We decided about two and a half years ago to take up my parents offer of free room and board to allow me to go back to school and get a degree. Hence I am back in the Chicago area but longing for the peaceful tranquility of Montana. Anyway that myspace page left me with even more longing for the west. I also noticed that some of his friends were old mutual friends of ours. I hadn't seen some of these guys in six or seven years. It was strange looking at their pages and glimpsing the life they have now. I have always been intrigued by the feeling of nostalgia. I guess it is more of that going home thing. I know that as I look back at things the good times seem to remain and the troubles and crap tends to disappear. What is it about the "good ole days" that makes us all sigh and look longingly towards the heavens. Maybe it is more that the problems of yesterday are past and nothing looks as big when you look at it from a distance, even problems. I think I may just tip a glass to looking at my current problems from the distance of a few years in the future.

Trivial Things

2006-08-12T07:47:00.000-07:00

Life has been reliably routine lately. I am training a new guy at work and that has its own adventures but other than that time marches on. The new guy seems uninterested in learning the job. He surfs the internet and takes sales when they come his way, but he is not interested in learning new stuff. I was completing a sale when I mentioned to him that it might be something he needed to watch. He half-heartedly watched while surfing the internet. What is wrong with people. I don't understand this mentality of the younger generation that they are owed a living. It's like he is physically here and that is enough for him. If you want to get him to do anything besides the bare minimum then he wants to get paid more. I always thought that this kind of behavior would get me fired, but apparently these people get away with it. Is the job market so starving for workers that employers will put up with this crap? Maybe I am the wrong one. Maybe I am giving too much for what they pay me. Well, this is obviously true since I am worth at least as much as Bill Gates is but nobody as yet has been willing to pay me that much. Someday I hope to have a job where I get paid at a decent rate and I don't have to work with coworkers that make the local McDonald's crew look like a stellar team of hard working go getters.

Going Home

2006-08-07T20:37:00.000-07:00

Since it's been awhile I'll post two today.

I've been thinking a ton lately about going home. I don't mean going to the physical place of my childhood. I am thinking about going home to 1985. I was eight years old that year. If I had a time machine I'd go and shake that little boy into realizing what he had. I would sit him down and tell him to cherish every moment of that blissful time he is enjoying. The cares of the world were so far away from me then. My biggest problem was where I had placed the cape from my Darth Vader action figure (note it's not a doll, boys play with action figures!). I want to crawl into mommy's lap and cry when something hurts me. I want to go to school and play with clay instead of fractals. I want to look up to my heroes for hitting a home run instead of being disappointed in them for taking steroids. I want to leave all of my adult problems behind and shrug off the hugs weight of my troubles to lose myself in the park on the slides and swings. I find it tragically ironic that as a child I couldn't wait to grow up and be an adult. In my adult life I would give almost anything to go back to 1985 and start over with some of the knowledge I have today. Oh for the joy of a popsicle and a weekend playing ball at the park. I did not realize your simple pleasures in the days of yore, but I forever long for you.

Tough Week

2006-08-07T18:12:00.000-07:00

It has been a few days since I blogged anything. This is a very difficult week for me. You may know that I am currently going through a divorce. The fourth of August was my 5th wedding anniversary. That was Friday and on Saturday I had to go to a wedding. My cousin was getting married and she was pretty close family so I was more or less obligated to show up, although it was a beautiful wedding and I enjoyed meeting with family. I danced with the bride and the bride's mother. On Sunday the family met at the newlywed's house to watch them open presents. It was definitely a bad weekend for me. I feel worn out with the reliving of painful memories. Well here's to the happiness of the couple. May you have decades of happiness in your union! CONGRATS Tracy and Nate!

Writing

2006-08-02T11:38:00.000-07:00

I just discovered today that the college that I go to has published two of my poems in their creative writing journal, the Wordeater. I had originally submitted three but they decided not to publish the one poem I considered my best. I suppose my bitter, angry, and sad poems are more in style than my poem with hope. Anyway if you would like to read them here they are (Pilgrim's Journey was the one they didn't publish):

Break Up

Awful words you said
Each embedded upon my psyche
Seared upon my soul
Sacrificed to the wind of your whim
You left me alone
Careless in your disregard of my heart
You drenched the flame of my love
In your sea of spite
Upon the altar of self interest
You tore open my spirit
Dashed it onto the sharp edge of your selfishness
You have impaled me with
The cruelty of your contempt
I lie broken within the realm of
Your mean-spirited malice
Awaiting a new love
To break me again

Pilgrim's Journey

A cold wind blows across my face
A tear runs down my cheek
This cup's been bitter hard
But there's a whole lot more to drink

The path goes forever on
Away into the dusk
To hard to stagger on
Yet trod along I must

Heavy is my burden
Crushing heart and soul
Loneliness surrounds me
Empty, dark, and cold

Yet hope begins to kindle
I know this road's end
In the matter of a lifetime
Is just around the bend

That Silence of Night

That silence of night
Engulfs me
Deafens me
Terrifies me
Persecutes me
That bitter silence of night

That silence of night
Swaddles me
Quiets me
Soothes me
Comforts me
That sweet silence of night

I hope you liked them. For some reason I can't get the title to Pilgrim's Journey to behave and stay the correct size so it's a bit bigger than it should be. These poems are copyrighted by me and may not be used without permission.

Love Part 2

2006-07-30T08:24:00.000-07:00

So I wrote in a previous post about the stages of love. I have recieved some positive feedback about that post so I'd like to expand a little on my concept. When you have a relationship between two Stage one people you get one squared which is one. That just so happens to be the number of people in the relationship when things get tough. It surprises me how many people expect their relationships to be static things. They don't want things to change yet they always do. A relationship will always have highs and lows yet most stage one people never get to experience the wonderful sensations of going through a low and conquering it with the person they love. If you have a match with a stage one and a stage two person you have perhaps the saddest of all relationships. Two plus one is three which is often the number of people you'll have in the relationship when the stage one person finds another stage one person to have an affair with when things get rough. The stage one person is sometimes sorry that the relationship didn't work out, but they are ready to move on to more stage one relationships. The stage two person is left with nothing but a desire for a stage two relationship with their former partner or a great resentment towards the betrayal they feel, or both. The double stage two relationship is what we witness when we see people married for 20, 30, or 40 years or more. You get double the comfort, companionship, and rewarding relationship. You halve the sorrows and double the highs. I know my math here is quite illogical and a bit contrived, but it's my blog and I'll do what I want, so there. It works to illustrate the point I wanted to make. I think this is the last of the posts on love for awhile. I don't want to seem like a cheap knock-off of Dr. Laura. Here's to hoping all your relationships are rewarding and fullfilling.

Blogathon

2006-07-29T21:17:00.000-07:00

Hmmm....Doesn't Blogathon seem just a tad silly to all of you? Yes I know it's for charity. I have nothing against giving money to charity. I just think the idea of blogging every half hour or hour or whatever it is is just a little odd. I think that if you want to give you should give. I also think it's odd to make up all sorts of dumb ideas or reasons to give. Lately I've seen poker walks (what the ed is that?) and biker runs, as well as bowling for charity and giving out cheap candy as thank yous for giving. Has it really become that bad? Do you honestly need to offer people 5 cent crap candy in order for them to give a fiver to charity? It seems every time I turn on the radio I hear some add for some organization wanting my car. So consider this my contribution. If you read this and agree with me send some food to my favorite charity: your local food bank, church or otherwise. If you read this and totally disagree with me send some food to your local food bank. The more you agree or disagree the more food you should give. If you are indifferent then you need to fill the largest vehicle you own with food and drive it to your local food bank. Oh and if you didn't read this please send food to your local food bank.

Neopets

2006-07-29T12:08:00.000-07:00

So I'm an adult male who plays Neopets. Yeah the site has more of a kid friendly tilt but I have had lots of fun with this silly website. What I am starting to dislike about it is that since they have been sold to Viacom/MTV the site has become more interested in commercial aspects, at least in my opinion. It seems that the free fun stuff is becoming more and more neglected. When Neopets puts together a plot they do a pretty fantastic job of making it interesting and hard enough to be challenging without being impossible. It appears that lately, however, while the plot is still put together well, the conclusions are slow and frustrating. The award winning seems to be postponed over-long. I understand that they need to calculate the winnings and figure out the different levels of prizes, but they continually announce that prizes will be done way before they actually complete the work and issue the goods. I just wish they would keep their mouths shut unless they are completely sure that the thing is done. I also think they have way too many things going on at the same time. I wish they would finish one thing before introducing the next ala Altador plot and Altador Cup. I guess it's more that the site is going to change and I would like it not to. Ah well, if wishes were horses we'd all have something for dinner.

Stupid Americans

2006-07-28T18:07:00.000-07:00

I don't know if this is common in other parts of the world or if it is purely an American phenomena. I currently attend college as a "returning student" or "continuing education student" or "adult student". They have all sorts of names to convince you that you aren't out of place with the babies. I have nothing against the average seventeen or eightteen year old but they just seem so young. A lot of them seem stupid too. I have met these students who despite getting a failing grade refuse to do better work or drop the class. One student in a history class I was taking was actually proud of achieving a 16% on a test. I have met many students who tell me they have NEVER read a book all the way through. When I ask how they got through high school they told me that they read summaries or watched the movie version of a book they were supposed to read for class. How can you go through 18 years of life and never read a book. I read about a book a week while I'm am actively in class. During our breaks I can sometimes read more than a book a day. I don't expect other people to share my appetite for reading, yet I do expect a college graduate to have at least read a book thicker than the walkthrough guide for their latest video game. It seems so sad and so astonishing that this is a relatively common experience. God forbid we should turn a T.V. off or shut the XBox down. There are so many wonderful adventures and stories locked away in books that are quickly becoming as dated as polyester suits and vinal LPs. I suppose it makes film making an easier job. Wait 25 years and then you can have a fresh story out of any book because nobody will be reading anymore.

INTENSE!

2006-07-27T16:47:00.000-07:00

What is going on with our adiction with intensity. It seems like these days everything is more intense in ways that would baffle our ancestors. It's not good enough to have a cheese cracker anymore we need an intense cheese flavor with cheese and spice sprinkles. We have flavor blasting and triple coating. A baked potato doesn't quite cut it. Instead we order loaded potatoes with cheese and bacon and sour cream and onion and lord knows what else. Our T.V. is more intense too. The reality show gives us glimpses into the 'reality' of life. A simple comedy or drama is lame. The shows were we see people fighting and getting torn apart by other people is the thing we need. If that is not enough you can get the "too hot for tv" version that shows said people getting naked, beating on each other, and cursing. It is unacceptable to get a movie all by itself when I buy a DVD. I must have the extras. I need the bonus footage, director's cut, commentary, behind the scenes, music videos, and internet content. What is wrong with us. We are constantly wanting more. I long for simpler days when the favorite time of the week is when my family went to grandma's house for dinner on Sunday. This craving for intensity is ruining the pleasure we can get from normal life experiences and simple beauty.

Love

2006-07-27T10:51:00.000-07:00

So here's a post on my thoughts about love. I may be waxing a little poetic here, and if you don't like it, surf off. I have thought about this alot since I'm going through a divorce. Love has two stages if you will. The first stage is kissing, holding hands, gazing into each others eyes, going to movies, dates, sharing milkshakes, and sex. This is the EASY part. This first stage is fun and enjoyable. The second stage is harder and ultimately more rewardable. This consists of waking up next to someone who has morning ugliness and breath, dealing with quirks and pet peeves, caring for someone when they can't care for themselves, doing things you don't want to do just because the other person wants to or needs to do. People just don't want to go out of their way to care for someone else. When the fun of stage one goes away or the hardships in stage two get burdensome people run from committment. They want the rewards of stage two but have no desire to go through the work to get it. They then settle for the easy and low reward stage one because they don't want to expend any more energy than they must. It's so sad. Those who enjoy both stages enjoy a more fullfilling relationship. Oh well I guess as humans we are all just too lazy.

The Radio Shack Zone

2006-07-26T13:55:00.000-07:00

OK now for a post on work. I work at a Radio Shack dealer store in my home town. Before I go on I suppose I should say that nothing I say here necessarily reflects the thought or oppinions of Radio Shack or the owner or coworkers of the store I work at. These are just my thoughts and oppinions. Anyway I have come to realize that when people walk into my store they enter a 'Radio Shack Zone'. This is kind of like the twilight zone only a little bit creepier. Normal intelligent people turn into raving idiots or angry maniacs. This zone does not effect everyone. Most of my customers are nice people who come in and buy what they need and leave. These people, however common and frequent they are, are not the subject of these posts. Let me relate an incidence so that you can understand what I am talking about.

A man comes into my store.

Customer: "Do you have wire?"

Me: "Sure. What kind of wire do you need?"

Customer: "Wire wire."

Me: "Um I'm not sure what kind of wire that is can you be a little more specific?"

Customer: "You know, wire wire"

Me: Oh boy this is going to be interesting "OK let's see. We have telephone wire, speaker wire, audio wire, alarm wire, intercom wire, audio/video cabeling, guy wire, antenna wire, ground wire. Which one of those do you need?"

Customer: "The kind of wire that conducts electricity"

I know this man must be an intelligent person. He has stepped into the Radio Shack Zone. He cannot explain what he needs and he is getting more and more frustrated by the second.

Me: "Well sir that doesn't help me much as that is how all wire works. Wire by its nature conducts the electricity and that is how we use it in all of these different applications."

Customer: "I really need wire to conduct electricity and I know you have it."

I am starting to realize what he needs.

Me: "Do you mean house electrical wire. Like the kind that goes inside your walls through conduit and powers your AC outlets?"

Customer: "YES! That is what I need."

Me: "I'm sorry sir we don't carry that kind of wire."

The man walked out. This is what I mean by the Radio Shack Zone. It's quite strange.

New Blog

2006-07-26T13:51:00.000-07:00

Well I have finally decided to start a blog. I am not sure why as the world definitely does not need another blog. Maybe it is a touch of ego. The idea that someone wants to read the crap that spews forth from my fingers. Well in case you do I will be posting some life stuff mostly about college, work, and neopets so don't fingure on getting many juicy details about my personal life. I suppose that is enough for a first post. So no matter why you are here, and believe me I can't for the life of me imagine why you are, I hope you enjoy my postings.