The Female Question

It's not exactly a question as it is a category of questions. My wife used to ask them all the time. It usually was something like 'Why do some car companies put the gas cap on the right and some on the left?'. I have now have two options. I can either lie or tell her that I don't know. Option 1 is the easiest. Option 2 leads to headaches and sometimes arguments. So I would probably answer something like 'Well when they design the cars they figure out the optimum space management system then decide where the gas tank goes. Then they decide which side would be more space efficient and aerodynamic to place the cap on.' It sounds good. It may even be close to the truth. I have no idea I just made that up just now as I wrote it. The conversation then moves on as her curiosity was satiated. If I said something like 'I don't know' the conversation grinds to a halt as she would then tell me what she thought the answer was, which would be some completely farfetched illogical reason like 'I bet they do that to balance out the fact that they put (some car part) on the other side and they wanted to make it look nicer.' or 'It's probably some government regulation that says what side they put it on.' Then she would tell me how she thought I was smart enough to know and that she would never ask me anything else ever again. If I know how to change the oil and do a minor tune-up I obviously know everything there is to know about cars, right? The same kind of thing would happen if, God forbid, anything would go wrong with the computer or if she had a question about some weird computer quirk. 'Why is the icon for Internet Explorer a big blue e?', 'Why do I have to restart every time I update, can't they figure out how to do it without restarting?', 'Why are computers black or silver?'. Please do the men in your life a favor. They don't know. They will just make something up to seem smarter or to avoid more questions. There is no real reason and it's ok. There doesn't need to be a reason for everything. If you promise to stop asking us silly questions we'll promise to buy feminine products without complaining. Honestly. I swear. Why do they call those things tampons anyway?