Why, KG, Why?

Apparently Kentucky Girl has tagged me for a meme. You do know these are authored by Satan don't you? You are going to hell for propagating this stuff. Now I feel obligated to do it, but since I've never done one before I guess one won't hurt me. Well, not too much anyway.

Things that scare me: Heights, failing classes, and KG's anger (trust me you don't ever want to piss her off. I heard she uses the skulls of her victims as ash trays.)
People who make me laugh: Unqualified teachers, Guild Wreckers, internet dramatists.
Things I hate the most: Going back to school as an "adult student", Illinois.
Things I don'’t understand: Why vulgarity = humor, why retail stores inevitably hire the most ignorant employees they can possibly find.
Things I am doing right now: Waiting to go to work. Putting up a garbage post of a meme cause KG made me.
Things I want to do before I die: Live 80 more years.
Things I can't do: Point with my left index finger, be nice to telemarketers, code anything on the internet.
Things I think you should listen to: Podcasts. Specifically TWiT, dl.tv, Buzz Out Loud, Diggnation, Control Alt Chicken, Ask A Ninja.
Things you should never listen to: People who tag you with memes.
Things I'd like to learn: How to become invisible, how to write and, the secret to happiness.
Favorite Foods: Dolphin, hummingbird, and unicorn.
Beverages I drink regularly: Water and Mountain Dew.
TV Shows I watched as a kid: Underdog, Star Trek TNG, GoBots